Yesterday Dakota, Karen and I bought a cemetary plot. Two actually. It was a weird experience I guess. I’m not sure “weird” captures it, but it’s the word I’ve got right now. My body will be buried there but it really has very little bearing on my life where I’m buried, so we used other factors for the decision. Here’s some of our thinking in no particular order, just the kinds of things we worked and talked through.
- Where should I be buried? My home town of Oneonta, NY? California, where we lived for 8 years? Idaho where we live now? What happens if I’m buried here and the family moves and has to travel across the country to visit the site? We settled on Idaho. Missionaries back in the day packed all their belongings in a coffin when they left for places like China. They knew what was at stake and set their direction and everything in them towards the mission. They were buried where their last mission field took them. This is what we decided. We know the Lord called us here and if this is where I take my last breath, this is where I’ll leave my body behind.
- Kasey. In my estimation, Kasey will be visiting the site most often so we wanted to find a nice plot that would be conducive especially to her grieving process. The cemetary is easy to get to, only 7 minutes from our house, and its very well maintained. The actual burial spot sits about four rows off the park road and right in front of a beautiful pine tree. This will give her (and anyone) privacy to mourn/cry/talk, yet not be hard to get to.
- Do we buy one plot or two? This was by far our hardest decision. Karen is only 46 years old and it’s very possible the Lord will bring a wonderful man into her life to share her life’s journey with her. In that case, I will remain “alone” in the cemetary. But if she doesn’t remarry, will she still be in Idaho to be buried there? Because we don’t know the future and we can’t answer any of these questions, we just had to make a decision as best we can. The good news is that you can sell a plot back, so we bought two and if we never use the second one, the cemetary will buy it back. Then I might get a neighbor I don’t know! I hope that’s not awkward…
Cancer Update: We are still working on my medicine patterns as I try to manage pain. My pain is getting worse which may mean the cancer is spreading, which is expected. It’s harder to breathe deep breaths so my guess is the cancer in the lung could be spreading as well. We will continue to increase pain meds to try to keep me comfortable and active.
You still owe me $0.35 for a milk in 1986. I guess I could let it slide. Love you, buddy!!!
It’s seems like Wes named his oldest offspring after you. (Is there a story behind that?) Maybe you owe him $.35. 🤷🏻♀️
Love you, Wes. Thanks for sharing your life with us. Dakota, thanks for making everyone smile. I am sure that’s something you have in common with Wes.
Shalom.
Wes,
Always thinking about you and praying for you.
Love you all. Thank you for keeping us posted. Praying for heaps of grace for each of you.
Dawes Dunham is my pastor and the way I found my way to your site. Praying for you all as you navigate this difficult path – one which our family walked 30 years ago.
What can I say Wes ? Can’t think of much other than thank you for sharing what we all will have to think about for ourselves in the future. Please, let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family as an individual or as part of a group effort. The help and effort you have extended to me and my family over the years is itching for an opportunity to be returned to you. Thank you Wes.
“Surreal” is the word that came to mind. Glad you did it together. My heart breaks for Kasey… it breaks for all of you, but especially her. True: where your “tent” lies down has no bearing on your life, on either side of heaven. You will be ahead of us all, glorified and yucking it up with Jesus and company. It just sucks that entering your joy means such sorrow for those left behind. Way of life and all, I understand, but that doesn’t make it less sucky. Praying for you often and lifting you as high as my spiritual arms will go.
I’m donating all my body to others in need or science. Cut it up dissect, experiment with it, etc. because Jesus would rather it be used to help others then put into the ground. Think about it and do whatever you feel like doing like all others that have the opportunity to make a decision and a choice. Anyone can have DMV print out “DONOR” on your license.
It must seem surreal doing this now but I’m sure it’s a blessing doing it together and not a burden on them later on. We continue to pray for you and the whole family.
Lost for words. All I can do is to continue to lift you up. Whatever happens, I know God is with you, and waiting. Sending you love and prayers. 🙏💐💚
Its good to prepare for whatever the future might hold. I have a Trust so I can make those decisions now. Then the family knows what I wanted. Nice to know God is watching and waiting for you.
Reading of your journey (that includes your family) is a strong testimony as to your faith, trust, and beliefs. The strength you have to share this with others is beyond understanding. Thank you Wes, Karen, Dakota, Kasey and Kadin for making this very difficult journey so transparent and a source of encouragement for anyone going through anything difficult, even to the point of going Home to the Father.
A decision my husband and I made when we were 35 years old, and his 31 year old brother had just passed. Two years later my husband passed in a sudden farming accident. We were prepared and did it together. It was one decision all made at the time of passing. It’s been 36 years since he was laid there. A place I find quiet and peaceful to relax on a sunny day and read a good story. Plans made together are familiar when the unfamiliar comes into play. Love to You All! ❤❤❤❤❤
So many things I feel and want to say… I am choosing to think about the joy you will have Wes, when you meet our Lord face to face and hear Him say”Well done my good and faithful servant.” I will continue to hold you all in my prayers, love you. Connie
No words except we definitely know God is in this all the way. A difficult road for you and your family. God bless you for sharing with us. It sure does make us think. We all want to see you up and well but we also know God makes all the decisions and promises to comfort us through it all. God blessing to you and your family
Thinking & praying for you and the family! Stay strong my friend! Love to you all!
God bless you and the whole family , I remember spending many times at your parents house because patty was my best friend !! I wish you and your family peace and what a loving family you have . Hugs to all of you .
Love you brother!
Praying for you and your family.
This is so hard–thank you for sharing your family’s processing on this, Wes. Back in 2009 our eldest daughter who was 6 1/2 died and we had to make those decisions. It turned out Kraig’s grandparents had extra space on their site; Kraig’s grandfather was already gone, but his grandmother and his aunts and uncles agreed that Keren could take the extra space still there. It was a huge blessing. She now rests beside both her great-grandparents. While I know beyond any doubt that it’s just her body there, it comforts me sometimes to know she’s beside family, since our living family has moved countries and states since losing her. God always works in the details. Praying for you!
Wes,
Angela and I love you. I personally thank you for the impact you have made in our lives and how your letter of recommendation long ago sent me forward in my calling as a military chaplain. Many lives have been impacted and many souls have been won to Christ since your letter was sent forth on behalf of the West family. We will continue to pray for you while you are yet still with us and your lovely family. I only know that when life concludes for you here, true eternal life begins and it is there we will see each other again. We will continue to do the Lord’s work as you have done in your life. Your submission to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is the example my family and I follow. I love you brother.
Leotra and Angela
This was a hard one to read; I’m amazed and thankful that you wrote about this “weird” experience. We have learned a lot about living from you, Wes, and now have learned something about how to process dying.
We love you all and continue to pray for you all.
Wes, you are so strong in Christ and I continue to pray daily for all your of you. Yes, choosing a resting place is weird, but it is so beautiful that you are looking out for Kasey. I pray for peace, love and magic moments with your family, memories remain in our hearts for ever. I know how very much you loved the Lord and your family, may He give you special time to celebrate the wonderful Coddington Tribe. Now and for eternity. Much love to you all.
Wes, you live so courageously through Christ. Thank you for sharing the story of finding a resting place and being so very loving about Kasey’s needs. I have been through this difficult time before and I wish for you and your family peace, love and special moments with you that they will always carry in their heart. I pray for you all everyday and wish for you to have special moments to find joy in everyday. The Lord will heal your pain and we will always remember your loving smile and life. Love, Kathy
Ugh! Wes!!! You are one of the most brave men I ever met. You are a hero. You are incredibly strong and inspiring. Your wisdom and patience are unbelievably stunning. Thanks again for all that you share with us. For what ever it’s worth, I think you guys made a great choice for where to lay your body.
I’m stuck on words now because I am feeling mushy from your post. I hope you rest well tonight. I’m going to call it a night soon. Love you friend. 🤍
Wes, I am not sure if you will remember me, but I grew up with Karen at Langhorne Terrace, so she should remember me. Anyway, I want to thank you for sharing your cancer/hospice journey, including the hard parts, like choosing your cemetery plot. I have been fighting cancer for 11 yrs. And after being on hospice for a few months last year, I came off of it, to try a newly approved chemo. It hasn’t been easy, but it did give me an extra year, to spend with my family. Unfortunately, it has stopped working, and I just went back into hospice this week. And reading about your journey, really does help me cope with mine. And I wanted you to know that your posts don’t only inform others of what is going on with you and your family, in this difficult time. But it is also helping others get through their difficult times too. You and your family will continue to be in my prayers. Say hi to Karen for me. God Bless!
Wes,
I’ve been following your posts and progress. Been praying for you and your family. Thank you for being so honest and open about your life and trials. You are a faithful warrior for Christ. I appreciated and continue to appreciate your humor and ability to find the bright side of all circumstances. Most of all though I admire your faith and your heart for others. You are a role model and always have been. May God flood you all with peace and joy!
Continuing to pray for all of you. Your love for the Lord and your family shines bright.
Wes and Karen- Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It seems a very long way from the guy who loved Virginia peanuts and wonderful snowmobile rides Cooperstown! We loved those fun days. Our thoughts, prayers and hugs go out to you today. May God’s peace continue to support you and the kids.
Can I just say, I love that you are consistent. The comment, “The good news is that you can sell a plot back, so we bought two and if we never use the second one, the cemetary will buy it back. Then I might get a neighbor I don’t know! I hope that’s not awkward…” made me laugh. The fact that you are walking through difficulty, but are still able to make another smile is consistent with the guy I met 25+ years ago. Quirky, weird, thinking outside the box, but always making some kind of comment that makes people either laugh or groan!
Really looking forward to coming to see you in July – wish we could come earlier – and really wish we could stay longer. Love you guys!
Hey Wes! I’ve been following all of your posts and praying for you often, although I have not often commented. You truly are an inspiration. I wanted to plagiarize Mike Breece’s sentiments above, as that really captures my own thoughts here. You’re a good man and a blessing to many. I can’t imagine going through what you’ve been through in life. God only knows, but you’ve traveled this journey with more dignity and perseverance and optimism than most could imagine. Keep up the good work and enjoy every moment.
Wes, you’ve done two things to my heart and soul today:
1. Made me smile and laugh.
2. Brought sorrow to the surface.
Joy and sorrow travel together. In this world we can’t have one without the other. Neither did Jesus. Yet, through because of Him, we have life. For the joy set before us as Christ-followers, we have much to look forward to. Keep looking forward. Jesus won’t disappoint you or your family.
One more thing, a few years ago, my sister-in-law Brittany died from lung cancer. She, too, went shopping for her cemetary plot. She decided that when Jesus comes back and raises the dead, she wanted a nice view, so she chose one by the ocean. So see? You are not alone in how you processed your decision and choice. By the way, if you meet her in heaven, tell her I say “Hi!” 🙂
Wes, i have to tell you that following your journey has strengthened my Faith tremendously. I pray often now, for guidance and strength through God. I selfishly ask you to include my children and grandkids in your prayers that they will find God in their lives to support and guide them in their own lives.
My Faith has helped me get through so many tough times. I wish that for them.
I only know your mom and dad and can only imagine how heartbreaking your pain and suffering has been for them to witness. I pray for all of you.
Thank you for being a huge inspiration for me. I send continued prayers comfort, love and support for you and your loved ones.
Wes, when I think of you I think of zeal! Since I’ve known you, you’ve have always exhibited a zealousness in all you do, especially in service to the Lord. I also think of “encourager.” Even in this step, I see you are zealous to love and encourage your family well by having tough decisions made ahead of time, together. Continuing to track you through your blog and to pray. With love brother, Rhonda
I so agree with that last comment! Thank you for sharing with all of us each step of your journey this past year! Your faithfulness and dedication to Christ and His calling through all of this is truly an inspiration and encouragement to us as well! We continue to pray for you and the whole family! Love how you all are making these decisions with unity as a team! We continue to pray for you and the whole family! Love how you all are making these decisions with unity as a team and with great consideration. And love your sense of humor through it all! Love you! 💕🥰🕊🙏 John and Laura
Such hard days not only with pain management but also with agonizing plans for what is ahead. Thank you for your transparency and honesty about this difficult journey. We need teachers and no one wants to be a teacher in this area of life. Praying daily for you and Karen and the family.
Praying for your team to find the right blend of medications for you ASAP. Push on that fistula for me!